Do it Like a Fangirl
by marching red
Summary: Haruno Sakura, the ultimate pink-haired, Uchiha Sasuke fangirl and self-proclaimed soul mate of said dashing lad, gives a crash course on how to woo and subsequently win the affections of a crush. First up, a large cake stain. Yum.


**Disclaimer:** I absolutely do not own Naruto, nor do I gain any monetary profit from writing this.

This was written for a bit of good fun. After abandoning my writing for about seven months (I'm not dead, and yes, I have resumed working on_ Chasing the Wind_), I feel like I need to get back on track and regain feel for the Naruto universe and its characters. What better way to do this than to write about a horribly misguided fangirl and her crazy fantasies about Sasuke? Yeah, I don't even understand my own mind these days.

Enjoy!

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**Do it Like a Fangirl**

Chapter 1  
_Instant Attraction_

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When you watch those movies with the attractive leads, they always experience a sort of instant attraction. They would feel a spark, or an invisible thread that connected them that they would only admit after a period of denial. It was disgustingly cliché yet terribly romantic.

And I, Haruno Sakura, am a _complete _and _utterly shameless_ romantic. So when I discovered that Uchiha Sasuke-kun and I were destined to share the same romantic fate that the red thread had prepared us for, I was more than willing to give Sasuke-kun a premature demonstration of our relationship. Something which I knew he'd be more than happy to acknowledge and, in doing so, reciprocate my delicate feelings of teenage love.

I admit I was a _bit _lacking in the physical department during my early years within the academy, but by the beginning of this year, I had decided that it shouldn't tear down my confidence. And so I had finally mustered up the courage for the demonstration for Sasuke-kun.

In class, Uchiha Sasuke-kun was perhaps the most noticeable student, mainly because of his _very _handsome appearance, cool aura, and intelligence. All of these characteristics also contributed to his popularity amongst my female peers, and some guy named Subaru. Not that it mattered, because Sasuke-kun was mine. Obviously.

With a certain grace in my steps that even I found myself in awe of, I slid into a seat beside him. Of course, I pretended only then to notice him.

I glanced in his direction but then did a dramatic double take and made a wide-eyed, surprised expression. Never mind that my face felt like a twitching goldfish.

Sasuke-kun only blinked and looked at me strangely. "What do you want?"

But I didn't hear his nonsense; too busy marvelling over the electricity our locked gazes generated. But because our love was so strong, I liked to imagine we were experiencing a whole lightning storm. Maybe Sasuke-kun could be my own personal Zeus or something. He'd be so handsome with such few clothes.

"…Hn. Weirdo."

As I gaped unattractively, for once not caring that drool was rolling down my chin, I could only think of two words:

Instant attraction. _Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. _Inner Sakura promptly fainted.

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There is a rule that says the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Well, _I_ completely agree. In fact, I _made _the love of my life a big chocolate cake. It was a proud and chocolate-y looking thing, all big and packed with tooth-aching sweetness. I just _knew _Sasuke-kun would love it and love _me_ as soon as he took his first bite. But first, I needed to get him to accept it. And I knew just how.

I slowly walked over to Sasuke, carefully measuring the speed and distance of my steps. They were vital and it was like the predator and prey relationship; be too forward and the prey will be scared off, and be too slow and the worm gets pinched. And there was no way such a delicious little worm like Sasuke-kun was going to be pinched by any other bird but me.

"Sasuke-kun," I said nervously, scuffing my shoe delicately, "I made you a delicious cake. Will you please accept it?" I needed a shy appearance here, you know? I had studied the strange behaviour of Hyuuga Hinata, and concluded I would need to imitate her in order to charm Sasuke-kun. Surely, he wouldn't turn away from such a shy beauty like me.

He stared at me blankly before he sighed and turned his head to the side.

I, of course, know all about his sly little game, but I admit I was a bit surprised at first. I mean, who knew Uchiha Sasuke-kun was the type to always play hard to get? It was completely unexpected, yet I found his sass undeniably _hot hot hot, _red _hot –_

I was suddenly knocked over by some abrupt, strange power with the force of a galactic explosion. _Well._ Talk about _rude_.

As I twisted my neck around in a daze, I discovered the source of power was none other than a familiar blonde pig. I made a face in distaste as she practically shoved the square monstrosity she was holding all but against Sasuke-kun's smooth cheek. Was that _thing _meant to be a cake or a shoe box?

I smirked inwardly. That poor, _poor _deluded pig. She had the technique all flipped.

"Hey Ino-pig!"

Lively blue eyes flicked to mine and narrowed. "What, _Forehead?_"

I exhaled before snorting loud and hard, my shoulders rising shakily with my tremendous effort.

People nearby had turned to look at me with what I imagined to be a mix of amusement and disgust. But they didn't matter. All I could see was Ino's features twisted into bewildered offense, her fist clenched white and her brow twitching sporadically. I smirked at her despite being somewhat deaf from Inner's thumping of her fists and terrible shrieking laughter.

Ino's face changed colour rapidly. First, red, then purple, and then back to red. However, her ears remained bright red, embarrassed beyond belief. And rightfully so. That blonde pig. But before I could lay it to her, she had snarled viciously and kicked off like an angry bull seeing red. And I, the tragic heroine, faced with an appallingly pig-like monster, did the first thing that came to mind. I threw the damn chocolate cake.

In the end, Sasuke-kun ended up with a large cake stain on his shirt and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the week. The disappointment was a result of a slight miscalculation on my part. If only I had angled it twenty-degrees more to the left, or told Sasuke-kun to move his lovely butt. One may wonder about Sasuke-kun's cruelty just because of a slight error, but I understood his adorable queerness. Oh, I _knew_. It was just simply _all_ in the name of love.

Oh just you wait, Sasuke-kun. The pickings will _definitely_ be sweet_. _


End file.
